she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
