Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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