She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
