I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
