Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
