Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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