i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize