I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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