so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
there is glitter all over my balls
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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