Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
