3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
do herpes really smell.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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