What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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