do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
