Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
