i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
