I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
