there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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