I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
