why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
