even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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