just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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