If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
