I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
