I love black thongs
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
