i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize