She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
