hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He kissed a someone with a penis
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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