why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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