well I can't set my house on fire every night
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
