grandma shit on top of the toilet
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
how does that bad decision feel?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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