i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
