I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
