when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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