hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
