This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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