I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
