yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
where are my eyebrows?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
