dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
