you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
