doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
