Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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