Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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