So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
