I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
