once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
