You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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