why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
