So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
