And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
