drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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