Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize