Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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