No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
