AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
