You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
