i just made my gag reflex go away.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
