I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
