you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
