"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
