I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
