I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
